Thursday, November 17, 2011

Goodbye blue skirt!

So, it was time to return all costume rentals, seeing as the dance year is at a close. I should be more sentimental, I suppose. I was sooo excited all those months to get it. Now . . . not so much. I wish I could pass it off as knowing that I *could* get it back in January during the costume exchange. But I won't be there. Blame it on the leotard. Grown-ass women should not wear skin tight black leotards if they area over 115ilbs. Still, I loved it and it shall be missed. . . .

In other news, class last night was great. I only had to explain my feis boo-boo twice, and I pushed really hard on my steps. Or tried too. I'm pretty sure that the entire room thought I was a complete IDIOT when all of a sudden my hornpipe was completely gone. But I console myself with the fact that my hornpipe rhythm was finally sounding right. This doesn't sound like much, but I have long suspected that has been my major hang up with that darned step. I could never seem to get the timing down right, so it made it impossible to really be able to get my steps to flow correctly, and then when I would screw up, finding the step again was right out. But on the drive home I was drilling the steps in my head, and they finally were coming right, out of my mouth. Now it's just translating that to my feet.

Reel practice went better. I've got 90% of my reel nailed. It used to be 99%, but ever since the new slip jig step, I've been "and-skip-and-skip-step-leap down"ing, instead of "and-skip-and-skip-HOP-FRONT-CLICK"ing. I know which I am SUPPOSED to be doing, and I know that I am doing it wrong, but I seem incapable of changing it. So, must work on that

I am trying, really trying to not get into a bad mentality, what with this move. Part of me just wants to shrug off really trying more on these steps, knowing that I will have to start learning all news ones come January. But I KNOW that is a bad mentality to get into. It would just be a waste, a waste of all I had learned so far, a waste of my current school's time and eventually, a waste of my new school's time, cause lets face it, once I would get into that mental place, I wouldn't leave it quickly. And I have been too lackadaisical with my practicing for this past year as is, and I refuse to just become a hobby-ist.

Work tonight, Thanksgiving next week. Christmas there after, birthday to follow shortly in January, then an interstate move . . . busy days, busy days . . .


Sunday, November 13, 2011

Not so much a bang, More of a whimper

Never. Will I. Ever. Overestimate my ability to read a stage schedule. EVER AGAIN.

I had good hopes for this one. I was aiming for bronze. Sure, I wanted golds, but I would have been happy with bronze.

I keep telling myself that it just wasn't supposed to be. That there was a reason I didn't get there in time to dance. Maybe I would have broken a leg, or accidentally kicked some girl in the teeth (well, maybe not the teeth, I think that is overstating my kicking abilities)

It seemed reasonable. The Feis started at nine. There were about ten dances before my first one. Most of them had around 15 dancers in it and the Syllabus said dancers were dancing 2 at a time. So I figured being there right at nine would just be an exercise in hurry up and wait. Rush to get out of the door at dawn. Wait in rush hour traffic. Rush to get parking and get my number and get a spot to camp out with my stuff (we dancers couldn't LIVE if we didn't have piles of stuff). Wait until it's my turn to dance. I thought I was being smart. Get some extra sleep so I feel top notch, leave a little later, and get there right in time for my first dance.

I'll leave being smart to the Ravenclaws from now on. I'm clearly not as good at it as I'd like to be. Needless to say, I was a little irritated, while looking down the stage list and I saw I missed my reel. That was my sure bet. A little cheesed about slip jig, but that second step I still didn't have entirely smoothed out, so no biggie. Treble Jig and Hornpipe are both crossed out too? Well, at least I won't embarrass myself up there with a bunch of nimble fifteen year olds. . . .

This was supposed to be the high note I went out on, before my exit to the mid-west. This was the feis that I wanted to do my school proud in. The one that would live on, once I'm long gone, of the Adult who went to a feis, competed against kids half her age and wiped the floor with them. Granted even if I had gotten there in time, I still wasn't going to be THAT good, but I could have taken pride in the fact that I went and I represented.

As it was, I felt even more disconnected wandering around that crowded feis then I usually do. Every one there knows what they are doing, and I am wandering around, lost, doing my best impersonation of someone who belongs there, but all the while not having a clue. I just felt like the awkward, fat adult dancer that's never really going to get it right.

That feeling will pass. I will get the determination and the drive back. I will stop beating myself up over this at some point . . . maybe by about Wednesday. But, for tonight at least, I am going to drown my low self confidence in peach ice cream and sweet, milky tea.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Feis Week

Coyle feis is in two days. Dance performance for an estimated crowd of 500 the night before. Am I ready? SURRRRE.

Actually, I would feel alot better about this weekend if it weren't for two things. First, my shins have been in SCREAMING pain since about Monday. I'm not sure what shin splints feel like, but I hope this is not them. At least, not until next monday, that's all I ask. One more week to abuse my body in the name of my art, and then I can go back to slacking off a little bit. I think my dance bag will be mostly occupied with various forms of painkillers and anti-inflams if I am to survive. Secondly, I had thought I had signed up for Reel, Slip Jig, Treble Jig and Light Jig. But I didn't. I signed up for Reel, Slip Jig, Treble Jig and Hornpipe. And here, two weeks ago, I told my TC, like the tool-bag that I am, that I wasn't doing hornpipe, so we didn't drill that as much. *insert expletive here*

I am kind of excited though. There are four dancers total in my comps. Four is good! It's not the fifteen dancers at Four Provinces, and it's not just me and one other girl like at Celtic Fling. I can handle four. I just hope I don't place fourth. That would kind of suck. Dear God, may I please beat at least ONE person? Kthanxbai .. . .

In other news - I think I have found my new dance school. I mean, it's still pending a class visit and all, but I really like them. And, surprisingly, they are not the one's who had the most impressive website. But the TC actually emailed me back . . . like within a few hours . . . answered all my questoins, seemed friendly and helpful. Add that into the fact that they have a location LITERALLY ten minutes down the road from where I will be at, and that they have super cute/traditional school dresses, and I think I am in love. Furthermore, there was absolutely no hesitation when I mentioned "adult advanced beginner" and "competing in &overs". According to the email I got back, their adult class is made up from a pretty much even mix of older rec dancers and younger former retirees who were getting back into competition. Sounds like it should be a good fit. Now I just need to find an apartment, a church, a favorite cafe and a hobby for the boyfriend - but that would be a different blog's conversation.

Thats it for now I guess. Need to think about getting read for work soon.