So, I am by nature, a not optimistic person. It's not so much that the glass is half empty, but that it could certainly be a bit more full, couldn't it? By nature, I feel the weight of burdens an stress, in an almost physical way. They often get the better of me, and it all I can see. After lots of recent heart-to-hearts with the Significant Other, I've been making more of a concerted effort to try and be more positive.
But reading over this blog, I see how this negativity has been holding true in my dance as well. I feel so heavy with all the problems - money, fitness, ability, lack of friends - that I have a hard time focusing on the good. So, it's time to make some changes. I don't think that having an Annie-esque attitude will magically make me a better dancer, but hey, it sure as hell can't hurt, right?
So here we go, I am going to list all my concerns in a brief statement, and then I am going to counter them with the postitives:
1. Dance is expensive and I am poor.
Dance is cheaper then Gym memberships and Anti-depressants. I have a good job, and am able to pay all my bills and still am able to afford Dance. Yes, I have to budget carefully, and I can't just buy new shoes/wigs/etc on whim, but that makes me appreciate them all the more when I get them
2. I am over-weight and out of shape, making it really hard to push my dancing to the next level.
Dance gives me a reason to eat healthier and get fit that is easier to stick with then dieting just for vanity's sake.
3. I will probably never be good enough to get to Worlds.
I may never be, but if there is a Championship medal for determination, by God, I will get it. It has been ten years of taking class off and on to get to where I am, and even if it takes ten more, I WILL get there. I WILL get medals at a feis, I WILL get that solo dress, I will get to regionals, nationals, worlds - even if I don't win at them, I will at least GET THERE.
4. I haven't made any friends in my new region
I am dancing for me. I may have no one to hang out with at Competitions. I may dance with 6 year olds. But I am not dancing for friends, nor am I dancing for social acceptance. I am dancing for me. If friends come along, great. If they don't, oh well. I am used to being the social odd-duck, so being the weird adult dancer in &Overs, hanging out with nobody is no skin off my nose. I am fan-damn-tastic, and I don't need to worry about friends - they will be there sooner or later.
So, there it is.
I have to say, I feel that the general attitude of/about Adult Dancers tends towards the less then positive. I mean, as funny and true as the "You might be an Adult Irish Dancer if" list is, it all about having to carry a pharmacy in your dance bag, and athletic tape by the case load, scheduling dance around work and kid's schedules, explaining your dance age, etc.
In response to this, and with my new Sunny-outlook mentality, I am going to start something new. It's called the "Why Adult Irish Dancer's Are Lucky" . . . or maybe "Benefits of being an Adult Irish Dancer" . . ."Adult Irish Dancer Win" .. . . alright, I don't know what it will be called, but it will be AWESOME.