Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Bad Night

Just who do I think I'm kidding. Myself, I guess.

I can't even do 2 reel steps in beginner's time without tripping over my own feet. I can buy the shoes, and the outfit and read all the articles and practice, but in the end, why do I feel this compulsive need to be good?

I mean, I'm not thinking of giving it up, but why can't I just dance for fun. Go to the ceili's, do some performances and get out of the house once a week. Why do I feel this compulsive need to accomplish what I never got to do as a kid.

Compete? Who am I kidding? I can barely get through 8 bars. Compete in &Overs? Even more ludicrous! I will be up there with young, fit, active 14 year olds. And look at me, 24, didn't exercise a day in her life until a few months ago, and just on the north side of chubby. Of course I can't get that leap as high as it needs to be. I am trying to launch alot of pounds into the air. No, I can't turn out more - I have a thigh in the way.

And maybe I am being to hard on myself. Maybe I'm just having a bad night. I know I am NOT going to give up this easily. But right now, I am beginning to wonder if I'm just nuts.

Not 2 days ago I boldly asserted "I am an advanced beginner and I just registered for my first feis. Open Championship, here I come."

. . . . .Open Championship never seemed so far away


  1. I think this is the big difference between kids and adults in the beginning stages. Kids dance "just because" and don't think anything of it. They tend not to have any sense of urgency and why they? They're six! But adults understand what they're doing but don't understand why their bodies won't do it right yet. They do have a sense of urgency, and because they're adults and have more brainpower and knowledge at their disposal, they sometimes overthink and overresearch. Reading articles, to be honest, won't do you any good at all. Neither will rushing and pressuring yourself. Just adopt a kid's attitude - they're less fearful, more relaxed; willing to try anything and crucially not panicking about it. You'll be fine!

  2. Thank you so much for your kind words. Between that, and the long conversation I had with my TC last week about my fears/concerns/discouragement, I'm feeling alot better.

    I guess I have to just keep telling myself that I've waited 12 years to be able to do this, that I don't have to have it accomplished in 6 months. Lol.


  3. Meara,
    I understand where you are coming from and I think all of us adults feel that way from time to time. It will get better. It was when I was at my lowest that I realized that what I am doing is good for me and my family no matter what anyone else thinks. If you want, you can read my story about it here

    Keep going! You can do it!