The Irish Dance Blerch

Do any of you guys follow The Oatmeal at all? It's hysterically funny, albeit, not for the easily offended. I'd like to say that I've been following it since before it was popular, but that wouldn't be entirely accurate, mainly cause I am not convinced that there was ever a time it wasn't popular. But I digress. . . .

There are many side-splittingly funny and educational comics on there. You can learn why Tesla > Edison. You can learn about the Mantis Shimp. But most importantly for the case of this blog post, you can learn about The Blerch.

A while back, The Oatmeal (he might actually have a real name, but if I ever meet him I will probably call him 'Mr. The Oatmeal') did a comic entitled "The terrible and wonderful reason I run long distances."

As I have often said that I am rather dwarf-like in regards to running (as in "I'm wasted on cross-country! We Dwarves are natural sprinters, very dangerous over short distances. Just keep breathing, that's the key") I figured that I would not be able to identity much with this particular cartoon. But being the good quasi-fan-girl that I am, I opened it up and I started reading it. And I discovered the name to something that has been haunting me for years. But, really, you need to go read it yourself. I'll wait . . ..  .

Ok, so. The Blerch. I have one. Only instead of a running Blerch it is an Irish Dance Blerch. The same little fat cherub that follows The Oatmeal when he runs has a sister that follows me when I dance. They look identical, except instead of a sweat band, my Blerch wears a giant crazy wig.

Like seriously . . . I want to start a hash tag campaign or somehow directly contact The Oatmeal and have him draw an Irish Dance wig on his blerch, just for me. Somehow, I don't think this will ever happen. But a girl can dream, right?

Basically, what I am trying to say is "what he said", only I am entirely less funny about it.

I've been blerching so bad recently when it comes to dance class, and it's landed me where it always lands me; right before a feis, out of shape, out of practice and thoroughly unprepared. It's a double-header memorial day weekend. Historically, I've done pretty well at the two competitions, but that isn't enough.

The Blerch is telling me not to go. I've learned like 15% of 2 of the new steps I need to learn. I've forgotten steps that I've previously done well at because I've been ignoring them in favor of practicing my trouble-spots. I've been feeling particularly fat and gross and self conscious the last few weeks. Y'know, all those terrible little voices - Fear, regret, doubt, cake.

But, As I was sweating my ass off in class tonight, a muscle tweeking behind my knee and convinced that I was going to die - either from over-exertion or embarresment, whichever came first, I wasn't picky - I kept reminding myself of a few things (except my treble jig - despite my best efforts, I was completely unable to remind myself of that, causing me shuffle like a moron by myself in front of the whole class).

The things I reminded myself of:

1. No matter how much I wanted to drag myself home and drown my sorrows in Peach Milkshakes rather then sweating and derping infront of a bunch of children, I remembered that I am never going to give up this fight. And the only way I am going to get better at it is to keep pushing through it even when I don't want to.

2. No matter how terrified I am of going to these feiseanna and embarrassing the ever living jibbers out of myself, I've already tanked at competions before and I have managed to NOT die from the shame. And I am not going to give myself the option of not going! (remind me of that on Friday when I am trying to bail again, ok?)

3. I might not get a medal, and that is ok. First off, I hardly deserve one with the lack of practice and effort I have been putting into it. And second, to have the privlidege of doing something I love, of pursuing a childhood dream that was always unavailable to me - that means alot. Medals are just icing on the cake.

So, I have a busy week ahead of me. Besides normal life tasks such as work, church, home, husband, etc, I have to find some time and place to practice, I have to ice down my bad knee, I need to soothe my wounded pride and then find somewhere to lock it away so it doesn't get permanently damaged this weekend, I need to iron the frumper and trial run the wig. I need to scope the competition online, find my lost treble jig and lose my bad attitude.

Think I can manage that all in a week?

Alright, going to go put up mt feet as they have not stopped aching since class. I will leave you with this parting thought . . . .

Non-Traditional Speeds; An Irish Dance Novel By Meara Kelly

The official "blurb" for my book;

Lorna Wozniak is 25 years old, twenty pounds overweight, has the physical coordination of a three legged hamster, and has never hear Irish music a day in her life - other then the requisite playing of “Danny Boy” and House of Pain every Saint Patrick’s day, which she is sure doesn’t qualify. But all of  that changes when she stumbles into a dance studio on the wrong night of the week. Instead of the thumping base and strident horns of music for Zumba, there are bagpipes and the thumping of feet.

Dhá mBráithre Scoil na Rince na hÉireann – or Two Brothers’ School of Irish Dance, for those who don’t have enough phlegm to try and pronounce the Gaelic – is owned and run by Patrick and Aiden Murphy, brothers who are as dissimilar as could possibly be, except in their love for dance. Their constant, personal rivalry is only overshadowed by their epic rivalry with the neighboring school. Taking a foolish  barroom bet, the brothers find themselves in the position of need to change Lorna from clumsy Adult  Beginner to winning the World Championships in three years time, or face closing their school. 

Not only does she have odds stacked against her, and stigmas to defy, Lorna’s path to the Worlds is made more complicated by the brothers themselves. As Aiden’s obvious affection for Lorna grows, Patrick’s notice of her changes too. Somehow, she has to decide who’s training– and who’s heart- she
will accept.


Now, let's get this sucker written . . . .

Updates from today

Updates:

Class was good. Hornpipe remains solid. Reel is still good, when I remember what I am doing. Worked some more on the slip jig, but it continues to elude me. Treble Jig wasn't even touched so I don't want to think how rusty THAT is. On the social end, one little munchkin seemed more then a touch critical because I still do the "easy" light jig steps and the one little boy asked me for help tying his reel shoes. I was just glad they are starting to talk to me.

After class was better. Got a chance to catch up with TC, re: my upcoming competitions. She doesn't have any preference on what new hard shoes I get, as long as they help, rather then impede my dancing.As far as dresses go - there aren't any school rentals that would even remotely fit on me, so she gave me the go-ahead to just sew up something on my own. Kind of excited about that. I think she recommended black, but since she would rather see me in tights over poodle socks, I am going to see if she minds if I make it in school colours.  Got it sketched up and everything. YEAH! Can't wait.

Decided to play with my wig tonight, trying to figure out how to make it look better. I've been looking at old pictures and it clearly looks like it was put on by a beginer - well, cause it was. I've suspected for a while that it was because I've been putting it to far forward on my head. The problem with trying to fix that is that the length of my hair makes creating an anchor spot difficult. It either is too far forward or to far back. So tonight I experimented with pulling the hair back into the "too far" position, making sure it's tight, and then putting bobby pins in a nice middle spot, and then hooked the wig's comb into the bobby pins. I also made sure to keep some of my bangs out, and kept them pinned to the side, in kind of an Irish Dance emo-swoop kind of way, so I'm not all forehead and then *POOF* EXPLOSION OF CURLS!

This . .. .

Was the end result. Still needs a bit more work, mainly just to make sure it won't go flying off the top of my head whilst in motion. But yeah, I think it is looking better. It has also inspired my newest "Adult Irish Dance win". . .

Cause sometimes, I feel like it looks like these little girl's necks are going to buckle under the weight of the hair. And it's the same wig that looks reasonable on a teen/adult dancer, but put it on a  10 year old, and they might as well be a bobble head. If a child tried wearing my wig, even though it's shorter, and not terribly full, I am not even sure how it would stay on her head. And sometimes, after wearing it a while, even I begin to feel like my head is being consumed by a small, ravenous animal that has been cunningly strapped to my head with combs and bobby pins.


So anyway, projects for this week include trying to score some fabric, trim some of the frizzies off my scalp-poodle, drill on my turn out and keeping on my toes and in general, not panicing about the double header of doom feis weekend being a little less then 2 months away, and attempting to be proactive instead.

Until next time,

~Meara

Bad Night

Just who do I think I'm kidding. Myself, I guess.

I can't even do 2 reel steps in beginner's time without tripping over my own feet. I can buy the shoes, and the outfit and read all the articles and practice, but in the end, why do I feel this compulsive need to be good?

I mean, I'm not thinking of giving it up, but why can't I just dance for fun. Go to the ceili's, do some performances and get out of the house once a week. Why do I feel this compulsive need to accomplish what I never got to do as a kid.

Compete? Who am I kidding? I can barely get through 8 bars. Compete in &Overs? Even more ludicrous! I will be up there with young, fit, active 14 year olds. And look at me, 24, didn't exercise a day in her life until a few months ago, and just on the north side of chubby. Of course I can't get that leap as high as it needs to be. I am trying to launch alot of pounds into the air. No, I can't turn out more - I have a thigh in the way.

And maybe I am being to hard on myself. Maybe I'm just having a bad night. I know I am NOT going to give up this easily. But right now, I am beginning to wonder if I'm just nuts.

Not 2 days ago I boldly asserted "I am an advanced beginner and I just registered for my first feis. Open Championship, here I come."




. . . . .Open Championship never seemed so far away

Curls

So, I've stated this many times, but let me put it out there in written word, on the internet - I hate wigs.

I will grant you, I've seen some nicer ones and that some people look ok in them, but for the most part I regard them as one of the worst things to ever hit the irish dance scene. I won't argue the "they don't look natural" case, cause even though they don't, neither does hair that has been curled and has so much product in it that the Ozone is thinking of a nice vacation to mars. I will venture to say, cosmetically altered hair does look more legit then a wig that is so shiney (since it's made out of nylon) that if the sun hits it the wrong way it could blind the audience. My main argument is that they are ugly. Sorry, wig-fans. I think the things are atrocious. On my more maliced filled days, I can come up with all sorts of crazy analogies for what they look for, but such pontificating would be moot.I just don't like them. Just my opinon. Whatev.

But, as an adult dancer, I don't have a parent who will gladly sit for two hours and put my hair in soft spikes. And while I trust The Boy with my life, I don't know if I trust him with my hair. A wig would be the most common solution, but y'know me - can't do things the easy way.

My solution; A spiral perm.

It worked really well. When they were done rinsing me and my hair dried, I looked like I was ready to go do a slip jig. My hair couldn't get more poodle like and curly. Even after a few weeks and it started to relax some, all I need to do was scrunch up my hair with some Curls-Up gel, and voila! I didn't even mind having feis head on a daily basis. I've always longed for ringlets, despite my hair being like corn-silk - limp and straighter then straight. Having body in my hair actually worked for a daily kind of life.

But now, two months later, my perm is almost at it's end. I can actually brush my hair again. And I'm starting to realize - I kinda miss my straight hair. The Boy has said that he misses my straight hair. So, I'm honestly thinking of not re-perming. At least not for now.

But now is the early start of Feis season. Saint Paddy's is right around the corner. NOW is when I need the curls. So, I'm back to square 1. I prefer the look of curled hair, but I don't have the resources to get it curled every time I perform or compete.

So I guess my final question is, to wig or not to wig.

New Steps, new energy

My school is new. Not like brand new, but only a few years old in it's offical CLRG-ness. As such, the TC and her assistant TCs are often rearranging steps, choreographies, ect. Phasing out "old" steps (from our pre-comission days) and putting in new stuff.

Usually, new steps mean I get more confused because out of either muscle-memory or just stupidity, I always revert to doing old steps instead of the new, even though I mentally know the new. Let me sidetrack for a sec here and clue you all into the fact that my treble reel has ALWAYS been rough. I had just started learning it before my 4-year hiatus and it was still shakey. Then I came back and the step was diffrent then how I remembered it - part of that whole "we're offical now" step changing thing.

So, while I was slowly but surely learning all my other hard shoe stuff, that one was just giving me a heck of a time. But then, a miracle happened. This week in class, my teacher decided to phase our first treble reel step into a new one. And I don't know if it's just a fresh start idea - that instead of trying to remember what I already know, I can just learn something new from the begining - or if it's just an easier variation of the step.

It left me with a good feeling after class. That maybe that goal of placing well in my competitions isn't so silly of an idea. And that spark of hope makes me want to work harder. The day after class I spent half an hour at the fitness centre at my complex. I'm staying after at work a little today to use the equipment here. If I can get my stamina up, it will help me be able to push through the form into my steps more. I feel like so often I am so worried about just getting through the step, that I slack. Or worse, I'm so winded after going through the whole first step of whatever that by halfway through the next I'm barely picking my feet up off the floor.

I want more strength too. If that 3 peice home gym weight system wasn't so damn scary and confusing looking, I'd probably use that too.

As it is, we'll see how it goes. I think any progress to that First place is good progress, even if it's small.

Slainte!
~MK

First Class Back

Last night was my first class back after my 2 week winter break. It was also the first class in the new day/time. I wish I could say that leaving right from work and getting there half an hour early was my only problem. . ..

So, because of the day/time shift, the class has changed exponentially. Some of the girls I had hit it off with are now in a diffrent class. And then, some of the ones that I had been having a harder time finding comfortable around are still there. And then there are the "new" people. 2 of them are absolute beginners, bless them! I remember those days - when I first started I thought I would NEVER be able to do a proper Sevens. Then, it seems we've gotten an influx of Novice Dancers. Actually, as I think this was origianlly the Novice time spot, maybe us Beg/Adv.Beg's are the influx. Either way, I'm now sharing a class with 2 more Novice Dancers. Usually, I don't mind this. Since there are so few Adults, we've always had a few Nov. in with us. But for some reason, having 2 more really, reeeeallly good dancers in the class has unsettled me. It used to be that I enjoyed watching the higher levels take their turn in drills as it would give me something to aspire too. The new girls just make me feel clumsy and straw-footed. Not intentionally! At least I don't think so. I think it's just my perception.

We did alot ALOT of drills in class. Good. I need that. What is not good is the fact that the realization dawned on me that I SUCK!! I've be practicing my turn out and crossover so much, but then when I actually put it into motion, I just can't keep it perfect. My posture is never quite right, and m balance - I honestly feel like I am going to tip over! I can't launch myself high enough into the air - there is just so much I CAN'T do. I know with practice, I can fix most of this, it's just an awful lot to be facing down the barrel of and it makes me start to question if I should even be doing this - maybe I'm just not cut out to be a dancer.

I'm not that fatalistic. Everything is what you make it. Good things happend. Despite being the only tool-bag in class that could do their 1st Hornpipe step right, my TC told me what I was doing wrong. So I'm glad for that. I think what gets me, is, well (and God forgive me for saying this, cause it's going to sound catty) I'm the second worst in the class. And that's so not where I want to be. I don't want to be one of the remedial students any more.

So I guess the only option is Practice, Practice, Practice, as always. Just have to try and find where I left my patience, patience, patience. . .

Resolutions

I was just a touch incapacitated yesterday, so, only a day late, I am posting my Irish Dance resolutions.
The following is a list of things I am DETERMINED to improve, achieve or accomplish.

1; Improve my turnout - I've complained about it before, and sure when you have thighs as wide as mine, it makes that whole heel to heel, straight foot, heels pressed out thing kind of difficult to do without tipping over. Being slightly top heavy also doesn't help this (oy to the veh to be young and svelt again!) but it is completely accomplishable. Solution;  I have now taken to standing around in either first or second position no matter where I am. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea New Years eve with a fair amount of Bailey's in me (read above about tipping over), but hey, practice, practice, practice . . .

2; Increase Stamina - after having been back in class for four months now, I still don't have the energy I had when I had left four years ago. This may have to do with the 15 pounds I packed on. It may have to do with my crummy diet. But this too, is easily achievable. Solution; Add a little extra cardio in my week outside of class, and eat a more well rounded diet - things I should do for reasons other then dance too, so my resolve should be doubled.

3; Get more involved in class - let's face it. I am not a social person. I love socializing, sure, but I don't really do too well with the whole new people new situation. And sure I've been spending 1.5 hours with these people once a week for 16 weeks, but I'm lucky if I even remember their names. And sure, I've started getting a little more chatty and friendly, but I've yet to really make friends. It won't kill me to ask one of the others in the class if I can't remember what foot is going back and which is kicking.  Solution; Stop being such a gosh darned quiet wall flower! For the love of God, we all know I can talk like nobodies business!

So, all the above were the warm up, now comes the biggie that is least likely to happen

4; Place in my first Feis - I'm not settling for one of those dinky little "participation award" that will just sit around and clutter up the apartment. If I'm going to have trivial little knick-knacks lying around, they better mean something! I know, this is shooting high. I know, currently, I stand little to no chance of this. But if I follow through with 1-3 of the resolutions, I might just be able to pull this off.  The thing is, I don't want to be one of those adults that is just doing this for fun. There's nothing wrong with that, but that's not for me. I am having so much fun pushing myself to be better every class. I get giddy just thinking about placing high in competitions. I have dreams about qualifying to get my own Solo dress. So, I've got to bring it at any feis I attend, I intend to attend alot. . . .

So, stay tuned to track my progess on this all.
Slainte for 2011 all!
~M